Defining Your Purpose: Living with Intention or Seeking an Integrated Life — which is the goal?

Words Matter

I spend a lot of time thinking about words. Partly out of necessity — when you’ve worked in industries where precision matters (patent law), at companies where lingo is native to doing business (fashion/lifestyle retail), and in roles (such as CEO) where what you say, and don’t say, creates much more wake than you’ll ever realize.

I also love to read. Have been voracious since my 20s when my bar-tending roommate would knock out John Clancy novels on a weekly basis and I could barely get through a thin paperback. Social pressure is a powerful motivator!

And having three middle-school-age children also brings new meaning to words as you watch them master your primary spoken language, discover new languages and ask for your editing skills on their school work. All to my wife’s dismay as I wax poetic about when it’s appropriate to use their, there or they’re.

The last year or so, I’ve had this amazing opportunity to step off the treadmill and reflect on what I want to do next. It started out as a professional endeavor and has evolved into a personal one. Having time is a gift, having choice can be a burden (if you let it). With a starting point which includes so many amazing people — family, friends, advisors, mentors, coaches, colleagues — I’ve realized the privilege I have to consider options, to have time to be patient, to set the bar high and not waver. And I’ve also realized the need for codifying my filters and organizing principles for illuminating the landscape of trade-offs that come with progressing through the options. These realizations have prompted me to write this post, and perhaps many to come, in order to share my recent journey in the hopes of provoking thought, starting a dialogue, acquiring feedback, and continuing to learn about myself as a person, as a family man, and as a leader who believes in leading with values, vulnerability, optimism and purpose.

“To Know Thyself is the Beginning of Wisdom” -Socrates

What to do next… that was my initial curiosity. I’m confident I’m not alone and this is a common experience, as I’ve learned through countless conversations and moments of awareness — both of myself and of the world around me. It’s a journey, not a destination, and what seems obvious in hindsight still surprised me how my search for my own path forward made me more acutely aware of everyone else’s journey and my impact on it. Not to mention the immense opportunity to have a bigger positive impact on others’ journeys if I’m willing to pick a path to do so. This embodies defining your purpose.

Which leads me to the question: is the goal to live with intention? Or is it to live an integrated life? First some definitions:

Live with Intention: at it’s most basic level, consciously choosing how you spend your time and accepting the consequences. This does not mean only spending time on things that bring you pleasure and joy. To the contrary, it means that you’re conscious of your “why” for all aspects of your life and you accept — the good, bad and ugly — what comes along with it because it all gives you meaning, fulfillment and purpose. It’s an inside-out view of the world, being deliberate with your choices, words and actions.

Live an Integrated Life: much has been written on the topic, but for me this speaks to moving beyond “work / life balance” and creating an environment in which you can be your authentic and whole self in all arenas with all the people in your life, and in a “perfect world” your effort and energy in each arena has a positive spill-over into the other arenas (work, personal, family, health, spiritual, community, etc.). It’s an outside-in view of the world, where you start with “no” and only commit your time, talents and treasures to endeavors and relationships that align with your values and contribute to you achieving your purpose.

I believe the simple answer is both. And in fact, it’s difficult if not impossible to fully experience one without the other. However, where you are on your own personal journey will likely highlight which of the two is more timely to explore and which presents the most opportunity for personal growth.

Does this resonate? Does this speak to you? I’d love to hear your reaction! Thank you.

MK